4 Things Every Catholic Should Know About Sex...

I think it’s safe to say that our culture has an extremely shallow understanding of the meaning and purpose of sexual intercourse. This severe lack of understanding has led to some interesting sexual philosophies. In an interview printed in Cosmopolitan magazine (yes, me, a middle aged man, purchased a cosmopolitan magazine at the grocery store to research for this article) popular singer Rita Ora was quoted saying, “For me, sex is a form of getting to know a person—feeling someone’s skin.” 1 Secular culture tends to glorify such persons as enlightened sexual connoisseurs, but I only see tragically misled people who will grow increasingly more bored with their superficial understanding of sex.

But why is it that our culture is so obsessed with sex? I believe Sigmund Freud points us to the answer when he says, “We display outrageously and obsessively that which we do not fully possess or have deeply at our disposal.” In the absence of an authentic understanding of the meaning of sex, the culture is forced to replace sexual quality with sexual quantity. This widespread ignorance has plunged our society into a downward spiral of sexual addiction similar to a person who consumes large quantities of junk food devoid of nutrition. Society is robbed of the rich nutrition offered by the proper understanding of sex.

St. John Paul II spoke of the Sacramentality of the Body. [For the theology lightweights, like myself, a sacrament “emphasizes the visible sign of the hidden reality of salvation” (CCC 774 ).] So if the body is properly viewed as a sacrament, we can clearly see that the marital act points to the divine love of Christ for his Church. Here are the four things every Catholic must know about the authentic gift of sex:

1) It is Free.

During a Catholic marriage ceremony, the priest will ask the couple, “Have you come here freely to give yourselves to each other in marriage?” The couple responds appropriately by using their words to indicate that they are not being forced to marry one other. They then later communicate themselves as a free gift to one another by using the language of the body. Sex.

This vow uniquely reflects God’s free gift of love to us. During religion class, I would often wonder why Jesus didn’t throw the cross off his back and round-house kick the soldiers who were attempting to kill him. He didn’t do that because he gave his life as a free gift. Christ said, “I lay down my life... No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord” (John 10:18) I

2) It is Total.

During the Catholic marriage ceremony, the priest will ask the couple, “Have you come here without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?” The couple responds appropriately by using their words to indicate that they are going to give their entire selves to the other person. No pre-nuptial agreements. No regrets. They are all in. They then later communicate themselves as a total gift to one another by using the language of the body. Sex.

This vow uniquely reflects God’s total gift of love to us. Jesus poured out every last drop of blood and water from his body for us. He made a total gift of himself and held nothing back. Christ said, “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13

 

3) It is Faithful.

During the Catholic marriage ceremony, the priest will ask the couple, “Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?” The couple responds appropriately by using their words to indicate that they are going to be faithful to the other person till death. They then later communicate themselves as a faithful gift to one another by using the language of the body. Sex.

This vow uniquely reflects God’s faithful gift of love to us. Christ said, “I am with you always to the close of the age” (Mathew 28:20)

4) It is Fruitful.

During the Catholic marriage ceremony, the priest will ask the couple, “Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?”  The couple responds appropriately by using their words to indicate that they are going to be open to the gift of children in their marriage. They don’t vow to have a thousand children, but they agree to not suppress their fertility. No birth control. They then later communicate themselves as a fruitful gift to one another by using the language of the body. Sex.

This vow uniquely reflects God’s fruitful gift of love to us. Christ said, “I came that they might have life, and have it more abundantly” (John 10:10)

Who knew that sex is a renewal of wedding vows? And who knew that those wedding vows are a reflection of the divine love of God for his people? Our God is an amazing God who gives us many subtle and hidden reminders of his love.  

 

1 Greco, Patti. “Rita Ora is #Living Major.” Cosmopolitan. December 2014 Vol 257, No. 6: pg. 152

Janet E. Smith. Contraception, Why Not. Audiotape of lecture presented a meeting of the Catholic Physicians Guild at the Pontifical College Josephinum, Columbus, Ohio, May 1994