Why Would A Famous Quarterback Want That?

Is chastity a bunch of rules, or something more? Chastity is often confused with abstinence, which implies “not having sex”, but why would anyone want to follow repressive rules that promise no reward? I am a man who understands that authentic masculinity requires action.  So the thought of “not doing something” immediately puts my manly sense on high alert. Chastity requires temperance, which involves the controlling and moderating of our desire for pleasure.

However you approach it; chastity will seem like a crazy concept if it is not viewed through the proper lens. What is this lens? L-O-V-E. Saint Bonaventure said,

“Chastity without charity is a lamp without oil. Take away the oil, and the light will not shine. Take away charity, chastity will no longer please.” (Theology light-weights, like myself, please note that charity=love.)

The virtue of chastity only makes sense when it is tied to love. It is essential to first provide a healthy dose of authentic love before talking, looking, or even thinking about chastity. Without a proper definition of love, chastity doesn’t seem worth the demands. I think this is why our culture looks at chastity as some kind of archaic idea, because we are confused about love.

Our culture often pushes many to think of love as a kind of “wonderful feeling”. I’m not against wonderful feelings, but love is more than that. St. John Paul II said, “Love is not merely a feeling, it is an act of the will that consists of preferring, in a constant manner, the good of others to the good of oneself.” I remember a time in my life when love was demanded of me:

I woke up to an odd noise that sounded like, “bahh”. I immediately turned to my wife to see if she heard the noise, but she was not in bed. Being in a groggy state, thoughts began to fill my head like, “My wife was just stolen by a goat”. But as I slowly awoke, I realized the sound was coming from the bathroom. I approached the bathroom to find my wife noisily vomiting into the toilet. You must know that I am someone who generally hates dealing with puke. I have willingly responded to many grotesque and bloody scenes while working as a paramedic, but my least favorite calls were the ones involving vomiting patients. I extremely dislike puke, but I love my wife. Do you think I walked into the vomit-filled bathroom and had wonderful feelings for my wife? Nope, but did I love her? Did I prefer her good to the good of myself? You better believe it. I helped her.

Without a proper definition of love, there is little reason to sacrifice pleasure. I witnessed the cultural confusion in action when famous professional football player, Russell Wilson, recently announced that he will be choosing sexual purity with his girlfriend. As you can imagine, this public declaration immediately confused members of the secular media. In fact, it sent some people into a rage, which they publicly voiced via social media. In an effort to bring clarity to the conversation, I dipped my toe into the heated social media discussion. I was immediately criticized by many who dismissed chastity as an irrelevant and childish “idea.”

Let’s untangle the chastity confusion. Why would anyone want to choose chastity, let alone, a famous football player who has instant access to sexual opportunity?

 Being famous doesn’t erase Russell Wilson’s humanity. He has been in relationships before. He has suffered the pain of divorce. . Maybe his past heartaches have led him to notice the differences between real love and the counterfeit promoted by the culture.  Perhaps he has come to the conclusion that sexual impurity clouds the ability to see a woman’s heart. One thing is certain; he is not choosing chastity because it’s easy. St. John Paul II said, "Chastity is a difficult, long term matter; one must wait patiently for it to bear fruit.” I understand why so many people were puzzled by this famous football player’s decision. Not everyone is willing to rise to the demands of authentic love.

John Paul II also stated, “Chastity is the sure way to happiness.” People choose chastity not because they enjoy following rules. They choose chastity because they know it will lead to authentic love and happiness. That is worth the sacrifice.